Lakita's Observations: Question? Is it ever okay for a woman to foot the bill when on a date? I know what I think but I want to know what ya'll think!

Question? Is it ever okay for a woman to foot the bill when on a date? I know what I think but I want to know what ya'll think!

· · Wednesday at 4:21pm near Dallas

Frederic All State Cato Sr. and Deal Hankins like this.
- Lakita Leggett Sorry a$$ men need not respond! lol
  
  Wednesday at 4:22pm · · 2 people
- Amy Lee Bost it has been too long since I was on a date (married for 16 years now) so I don't know!!!! I am curious to what the other gals have to say :)
  
  Wednesday at 4:28pm ·
- Tekia Tyson I say its ok but only after the 3rd date. That is if you're lookg for a long-term relationsip. By then you should know if he on some grown man stuff!
  
  Wednesday at 4:29pm · · 1 person
- Tekia Tyson ‎50/50
  
  Wednesday at 4:31pm · · 1 person
- Irvine J Bradley I think its more than okay.It shows she on some real.Not some old fashion way of thinking...its hard out here
  
  Wednesday at 4:51pm · · 1 person
- Tatum Smith I say yes. Then he doesn't feel like he's owed a thing. Hell, I'd pay for the first date to get a piece though. j/k...lmao.
  
  Wednesday at 5:40pm · · 2 people
- Abree Lashae Cato-Riley It depends. The first couple of dates no way hes supposed to be impressing you. After a few dates maybe but if youre always footing the bill your not his girlfriend your his sugar mama!
  
  Wednesday at 5:44pm · · 1 person
- Maria Bias Dutch maybe. Who knows in this day and time. Now days its the female going after the guy. But after being married for so long, I still like to be treated like a lady and my husband is still a gentleman. But as far as being married, it depends on who has the most money in their pocket when we choose to go out. Lol! Thank God I'm married. 50/50!
  
  Wednesday at 6:14pm · · 2 people
- Lakita Leggett ‎@ Maria...I agree...it's different when you're married! But I never paid when I was dating...call me old fashion but if I chose to pay that's on me but if it was expected for me to pay he would have been out the door!
  
  Wednesday at 6:16pm · · 1 person
- Angela-Hustlin' Wilkins i think if he ask you he pays if you ask him you pay..its 2012 just cuz you paid for dinner dont mean he wont pick up the tip!
  
  Wednesday at 6:18pm · · 1 person
- Tatum Smith Naw, Kita says if he asks, he pays and if she asks....he pays. lmao.
  
  Wednesday at 6:20pm · · 2 people
- Tatum Smith I ain't mad at you though!
  
  Wednesday at 6:20pm ·
- Lakita Leggett Right, right! But it's never been a question of who was going to pay on any of my dates...lol If he can't afford to pay...he can't afford to date!
  
  Wednesday at 6:23pm · · 1 person
- Lakita Leggett I know nowadays things and views have changed but I guess that's why God blessed me with a man who agrees with my views! LOL
  
  Wednesday at 6:24pm ·
- Angela-Hustlin' Wilkins LOL im just trying to be politically correct fuk that you cant feed me you dont need me!!!
  
  Wednesday at 6:24pm ·
- Deal Hankins Uh yes...what makes a woman's pocket book more sacred than a man's? Personally, if I'm footing all the bill, then I'm making all the decisions as well! If its truly a partnership, then we need to be partners all the time, not just when its convenient for the woman. Otherwise, I may as well just buy a puppy and feed it all the time...cheaper and it wouldn't bark as much. Lol
  
  Wednesday at 6:34pm · · 1 person
- Lakita Leggett Mmm...well in that case I guess it would only be right for men to start having babies as well or taking on most of the responsibility of the kids and the home. #ijs....All this 50/50 stuff is cool but in relationships it's never really 50/50...Men and women each have their roles and that's my story and I'm sticking to it!
  
  Wednesday at 6:41pm · · 1 person
- Giovonni Poeticlyshy Harris I'm with Deal. If I'm always paying I don't wanna hear sugar honey ice tea. Nothing you have to say matters.
  
  Wednesday at 6:45pm · · 1 person
- Tatum Smith NEVER EVER is a relationship 50/50!!!
  
  Wednesday at 6:46pm · · 1 person
- Deal Hankins Lol...wait are we talking marriage or relationships? Cause they are far from the same thing. Just cause I take a chick out for a big mac or slide some slong up in her from time to time doesn't mean she will be having my babies. Wives and random chickenheads (any woman without the ring) are like comparing apples to oranges...
  
  Wednesday at 6:47pm ·
- Giovonni Poeticlyshy Harris Yes it is T. Its just all this shitty Tyler Perry movies and scripted reality shows make people think otherwise.
  
  Wednesday at 6:48pm · · 1 person
- Lakita Leggett We're talking about both! See...I knew you was going to say something crazy! LOL
  
  Wednesday at 6:48pm · · 1 person
- Lakita Leggett Get off my post GIo!
  
  Wednesday at 6:49pm ·
- Lakita Leggett If ya'll think that's crazy...then this is really going to get ya...I don't believe in women having to pay bills either...that is IF she has a husband! lol
  
  Wednesday at 6:50pm · · 1 person
- Maria Bias I would agree as to who was the one asking to go out. Now you ladies know that statistics show that African American females are more educated and tend to make more money than our African American men these days due to the circumstances, and if we are judgimg that person on what he can pay for on a date, you're gonna continue to be "single ladies.". When me and my husband met, I had a decent job and he had just come home from the military (no job but got one within a few months) but he could pay for us to go out on a date. He even invited me over to his apartment and cooked me dinner! That was far more impressive than paying for a darn meal to me. Plus he was "old school" and continues to be this way. I believe it was his values that me and that my kids have ingrained in them today whether they will admit it or not. Even now he does the these things and I continue to make more money even though we both work. But I wouldn't trade him for all the gold in the world. And Kita you and Aunt Effie know "my James" kind of like your daddy. And they hit it off well when they met. Lol!
  
  Wednesday at 6:50pm · · 1 person
- Tatum Smith Gio, that's only according to men. Y'all say that so y'all can sleep at night. The truth remains, while your ass sleeps, we do much more....especially after we have your damn kids and get stretch marks and all that sh*t. Don't get me started. lol
  
  Wednesday at 6:50pm · · 1 person
- Tatum Smith Damn Kita. lol
  
  Wednesday at 6:51pm ·
- Deal Hankins How is it crazy though? Think about it...its no wonder there are soooooo many single women out there. Especially the sistas..placing way too much importance on stuff that shouldn't even matter. Like I always say cuzzo, its a numbers game and brothers are on the winning end of that game. Sad for women, but freakin AWSOME for the bros...lol
  
  Wednesday at 6:51pm · · 1 person
- Giovonni Poeticlyshy Harris I don't know about the next guy but I cook clean do laundry and whatever else needs to be done. I can't fix your stretch marks but I'm not supposed to. I do what is needed.
  
  Wednesday at 6:52pm · · 1 person
- Lakita Leggett They're single because they're allowing men nowadays to be this new day in age man that feels like a woman doesn't need him so therefore why should he have to pay! And I think it's alot fault on both ends. Women acting like they don't need men and men taking advantage of it!
  
  Wednesday at 6:53pm ·
- Lakita Leggett Having old fashion views aren't always a bad thing. I'm telling you...there's going to be an astronomical number of singles when our generation hits the senior citizen era!
  
  Wednesday at 6:55pm · · 1 person
- Lakita Leggett And Gio...that's a good thing you do those things...but at the moment you don't really have a choice...the real test will be if you continue doing those things when you get a wife and some kids!
  
  Wednesday at 6:56pm ·
- Tatum Smith Pssshhhh, if we would start crossing over to other races like the "brothas" so frequently do, y'all wouldn't be winning anymore. Let me tell y'all what's not important, but frequently requested....a girl with thick legs, a big butt, some titties sent from heaven, a cute face, and long hair. All that superficial sh*t doesn't matter either, but it's requested. And women are going out there and damn near killing themselves for men...ha. Not I....not I.
  
  Wednesday at 7:01pm · · 2 people
- Maria Bias ‎@Deal, I don't care what you think. W hether its just taking a female out for a burger or just getting a little on the side, remember: We ALL want one thing eventually. PUT A RING ON IT! Even if you don't get caught in marriage, you're going to get caught with a baby, multiple babies mama drama or something! So keep believing that its just a innocent date with no strings attached. if you're fortunate to go all these years on just a date well more power to you. You must be some kind of man! Lol!
  
  Wednesday at 7:01pm ·
- Giovonni Poeticlyshy Harris Why wouldn't I? Women always think marriage makes a man change. If anything women find it as a reason to do less. Less sex, less body maintenance, less entertaining
  
  Wednesday at 7:01pm ·
- Deal Hankins To me it all boils down to supply and demand. The greater the supply, the less the demand and vice versa. No way I'd spend all my money on something that is as high in supply as single women! It's 50/50 or keep it pushing...however, there are still some idiots out there. I'm sure they're not hard to find at your local night club. Smh...
  
  Wednesday at 7:03pm ·
- Tatum Smith I'm with you now, Kita....make them mutha effas pay!!! Lol.
  
  Wednesday at 7:03pm · · 1 person
- Tatum Smith Marriage changes both parties involved...TRUST!
  
  Wednesday at 7:04pm ·
- Lakita Leggett Not I Gio...I keep myself up just as much as I did when my husband and I first met but of course some things are going to change! It's only natural!
  
  Wednesday at 7:04pm · · 1 person
- Deal Hankins ‎@maria...no kids, no wife, no problems...no disrespect to those who do have those things, but I've observed the mistakes of "others" from a distance, so I know what to look out for. Ok...I'm gonna get off Kita's wall now and observe. Peace and Hairgrease...
  
  Wednesday at 7:05pm · · 1 person
- Maria Bias Well, great debate everyone. And thanks Kita for starting it. I just want to say, i'm glad i'm not out there shopping, trying before buying and all that. If I had to do it all over again, it would be pretty scary in this day and time. I know that I am a lot older than all of you on this post but I do see some of the values haven't changed especially for my little cousin Kita and I'm glad. There are still some decent Black men out there that are not in prison, selling or doing drugs, down low, crossed over to abandon their sisters, and have decent jobs. I still wear my own hair, have real skin and no plastic and like to look good for the man I married. Yes, I may have a few strtch marks bit just like Jesus as a reminder of the pain that I endured for you.
  
  Wednesday at 7:16pm · · 1 person
- Maria Bias Well, great debate everyone. And thanks Kita for starting it. I just want to say, i'm glad i'm not out there shopping, trying before buying and all that. If I had to do it all over again, it would be pretty scary in this day and time. I know that I am a lot older than all of you on this post but I do see some of the values haven't changed especially for my little cousin Kita and I'm glad. There are still some decent Black men out there that are not in prison, selling or doing drugs, down low, crossed over to abandon their sisters, and have decent jobs. I still wear my own hair, have real skin and no plastic and like to look good for the man I married. Yes, I may have a few strtch marks bit just like Jesus as a reminder of the pain that I endured for you.
  
  Wednesday at 7:16pm ·
- Lakita Leggett Bottomline is this...Let it marinate!....The basic reason I feel it's a man's role to pay for the dates is because a man must establish his role from the very beginning. Some would say it shows his "manhood." Back in the day they called it "courting." Anytime a man requires his woman to pay, not saying she can't, but it sends a strong message that he's not really interested in establishing a relationship with that woman in the first place. In a relationship...and I'm not even talking about Biblically, that establishment is a must and it kills me when men/women get in a serious relationship and complain how the other is not doing what they are supposed to be doing. Well, it starts from the very beginning. How is a man supposed to argue he's the man and the woman is not letting him be a man if he asks is woman to do ish he should be doing. How is a woman supposed to argue that her man is a piece of ish when he let you know in the very beginning what he was willing to do in the first place. Paying for the date is just small fries compared to the ability to maintain a working relationship. The lines have all be blurred so badly, to where meaningful relationships nowadays don't have a chance. We have to get back to what works and not what we think works. "Any boy can eat the meal, but it takes a real man to foot the bill"-Author unknown! No offense fellas! lol
  
  Wednesday at 7:21pm · · 1 person
- Abree Lashae Cato-Riley I have learned so much from this little family debate its crazy..i thought being 20 i knew all about relationships,and dating but i guess not :)
  
  Wednesday at 7:34pm · · 1 person
- Maria Bias I agree Kita.
  
  Wednesday at 7:36pm · · 1 person
- Lakita Leggett ‎@Abree...girl, relationships themselves are crazy! But if you don't start out on the right foot, disaster is bound to follow. I try to tell women, especially the ones these days, that just because you can take care of yourself doesn't men you don't need a man. Women need to stop talking all of that nonsense because the men are only listening and taking advantage of it. And why shouldn't they? If somebody kept, telling you they didn't need you, why would you want to step up and do a damn thing for them. So, these men nowadays are doing just that...taking backseat to their God-given roles and women are acting like men...it's just not going to work...that's why divorce is at the rate it is!
  
  Wednesday at 7:46pm · · 3 people
- Maria Bias That is so true. We do need men in our lives and that's why God created Eve. He knew that man would need a balance. Someone to carry on the tradition by baring children. But is women have taken on other great and powerful positions over the years because we had too. Especially if the man wasn't present in the home. I was blessed to have both parents in the home but I still saw my mother struggle. That's why I wanted to be better and do better but not to say I didn't need a man.
  
  Wednesday at 8:04pm · · 1 person
- Lakita Leggett Exactly!
  
  Wednesday at 8:08pm ·
- Abree Lashae Cato-Riley Im so guilty in that department because i thought being a strong women was showing a man that you dont need him and you can do just as much as he can... maybe thats why ive been catching the losers ive been using the wrong bait!
  
  Wednesday at 8:13pm · · 1 person
- Lakita Leggett You said it! I'm telling you..you can be a strong and independent woman, but still let a man be a man...and I mean a man that you want to do for you and vice versa. A man is only going to do what u let them and dating is only the beginning. It's a respect thing to me as well. I can't respect a man that I want to be with if he's not willing to take care of his woman and kids (if they have them). And he's not doing that if he's looking for the woman to do it...It's not God's way so therefore it's not the right way. NOw, if it's just casual then, who cares, but I'm talking about something real!
  
  Wednesday at 8:20pm ·
- Lakita Leggett Being strong and independent isn't determined by how much you're willing to pay or show what you can do for your man, but it's determined by how much your man is willing to do for you. Because all men who aren't just using a woman wants her to be strong and independent and that man will walk the Earth for that woman!
  
  Wednesday at 8:22pm ·
- Lakita Leggett Having your own stuff is only a plus! But it has no bearing in a meaningful relationship between and man and a woman!
  
  Wednesday at 8:23pm ·
- Lakita Leggett And to add to that a man who does will also find a virtuous woman who is also willing to do anything for him!
  
  Wednesday at 8:25pm ·
- Maria Bias Go preach, cousin girl. Not only knowing what you want and how to get it. We can be all that and more but the MAN has to take his place as well and let yoi know he is a mam and can provide. I'e seen some that have fallen on hard times and still wanted to be in charge.
  
  Wednesday at 8:35pm ·
- Maria Bias Keyboard oops on the spellings. :-)
  
  Wednesday at 8:36pm ·
- Lakita Leggett Netta, I don't know what has gotten into me but it saddens me when my sistahs and brothers are so far from uniting together in love and doing things the way God intended things to be...Stuff is so bad out there and I can only imagine how hard it is for people but one has to be true to themselves, and anything less is going to fail including their relationships and marriages...not saying mine if all perfect because nobody's is but ijs. lol I'm not trying to preach but "COME, ON" lol
  
  Wednesday at 8:39pm ·
- Lakita Leggett It really isn't about the money!
  
  Wednesday at 8:41pm · · 1 person
- Abree Lashae Cato-Riley You should start a daily blog or facebook discussion i need to learn some stuff lol!
  
  Wednesday at 8:49pm ·
- Lakita Leggett Hahahhahah! Girl, ppl don't wanna hear this stuff...I just sometimes feel the need to share what's on my mind from time to time. I do have a blog but I rarely write on it! But hey, we all have room to learn...me included...I just get it from my Mama! lol
  
  Wednesday at 8:51pm · · 1 person
- Lakita Leggett But since you've mentioned it...I just might! lol I love a controversial convo! lol
  
  Wednesday at 8:53pm · · 1 person
- Maria Bias Yes, I could hear my Auntie in you. There is nothing wrong with that. Plus we have a younger persom, who is unmarried getting it from a twenty yeats plus person and a fortyish plus person sharing their views. Sometime when you give your views its true they don't want to hear it. But you live, you learn and your outlook changes when you get older. I was 26 when I got married. So I know.
  
  Wednesday at 9:12pm · · 2 people
- Prince Mason Ok the days of women not paying any bills or dates were the days that women were not working or treated as equals and wasn't getting comparable pay.. Especially coming off a recession, people have to learn to put simple "material" beliefs to the side and be realistic...
  
  Wednesday at 9:33pm ·
- Lakita Leggett Oh LAWD! I don't think I have the strength! lol
  
  Wednesday at 9:33pm ·
- Maria Bias I got it Kita. @Prince, women still aren't getting treated as equals even in the workforce. Statistics will show that we still make less than the male for doing the same job. Now they have a name for housewives calling them "domestic engineers.". When I went to interview for my current management position, I knocked them out the park on a management question. When I told them that I managed the household, did the accounting, attended various school meetings and managed being a wife, worked, and took care of my children, not to mention getting an education.
  
  Wednesday at 9:41pm · · 2 people
- Prince Mason But as women you have it better than you did in the last few decades, where it was expected for the man to pay for everything... Times are hard, you treating a man to lunch or dinner could be his only meal of the day cause all his check went to bills, kids and gas.. But he's trifling cause he can't pay for a date
  
  Wednesday at 9:51pm ·
- Prince Mason If she pay for the dinner and movie I'll provide the weed and I'll put out!!!
  
  Wednesday at 9:52pm ·
- Abree Lashae Cato-Riley ‎@ cousin maria i am def gonna have to use that one one day when i apply for a job as a manager ;)
  
  Wednesday at 9:53pm · · 1 person
- Lakita Leggett I hear what you are saying about times being hard PJ...really I do...BUT...as women progress, men progress too...but when it comes to chivalry why is it that woman progressing makes men digress....That just proves my points that times have changed and not necessarily for the better. Back in the day men worked hard and didn't complain and didn't look to a woman to treat him. I'm my opinion if you can't afford to pay for something as little as dates, talking about all of them, esp. if she's a woman of interest, then you can't afford to be out there dating! No offense, PJ cuz I do know you take care of your business! But IJS
  
  Wednesday at 10:00pm ·
- Lakita Leggett ‎@ Abree...ME TOO! Copy & Paste! lol
  
  Wednesday at 10:01pm · · 1 person
- Abree Lashae Cato-Riley lol right!
  
  Wednesday at 10:03pm ·
- Prince Mason Oh don't get it twisted I have never expected for anybody to do anything for me, especially a date.. But if both parties are interested and the guy just simply don't have any spare cash and the woman happen to have some extra spending money, it's perfectly fine for her to foot the bill.. For the most part I will, but it's nice to be treated sometimes
  
  Wednesday at 10:04pm ·
- Lakita Leggett Not saying a man shouldn't be treated but there's other ways a woman will or can treat her man in a relationship....not talking bout casual dating.
  
  Wednesday at 10:07pm ·
- Maria Bias ‎@Prince. As African Americans, we have all been victims. But some men (not all) just keep using this as an excuse as to why they are in the situation they are in. Racism still exists but we need to move beyond it. Spme thimgs don't have to do with racism and being a victim. Not all men are trifling either. I have 3 sons and we get compliments all the time as to how we raised them. They try very hard as to being a gentleman and doing the right thing.
  
  Wednesday at 10:07pm ·
- Prince Mason Maria you lost me on where you went with your comment, excuse?? Situation??
  
  Wednesday at 10:09pm ·
- Prince Mason You can have a great Job and still be in a financial bind
  
  Wednesday at 10:10pm ·
- Lakita Leggett Well, that sounds like mismanagement of the funds, but that's a whole 'nother convo!
  
  Wednesday at 10:11pm ·
- Maria Bias This has been a very interesting discussion. I have seen at times where my boys's girlfriends will treat them but they are way past the first or second date. But in the long run they are always doong for each other. Their saying is "finance before romance" or in their case marriage. Because right now they are all working on getting their education. So, therefore I am still waiting on grandchildren. They are trying to do it the right way. They see some of their friends from high school with babies and drama and they don't want any part of that.
  
  Wednesday at 10:16pm · · 1 person
- Lakita Leggett ‎"Finance before romance"...you hit it right on the nail Netta! Gotta have a foundation before you can build! NIghty, night ya'll! Love all ya'll!
  
  Wednesday at 10:18pm · · 1 person
- Prince Mason See just like a woman, take a small bit of info and just assume and run with it lol
  
  Wednesday at 11:36pm ·
- Lakita Leggett lol y'all do it too!
  
  Wednesday at 11:59pm ·